Masihkah...?

Diam tak diam dah hampir 3 bulan dah..seems like forever...well lawak gak rasa bila terpikir pikir rasa macam nk tumbuk ja muka dia...tapi since the feeling is there u just can't help to wonder eh nk tumbuk ke hapa.. funneh funneh..live's seemes to be mocking back at u...

alhamdulillah i'm in a healing process..i'm a strong gurl i noe at times i felt so vulnerable but then i'm only humane eh..kan? kan? kuatkan semangat amalina...

then one day sumone told me he's getting engaged...mulut cakap alhamdulillah...pastu cakap teringat rasa nk tumbuk muka...hahahaha nk tumbuk ka amalina? ntah cakap je lebih..:) i smiled....

yes i felt so frustrated...i've always had this vision of us growing old together...(yeah yeah cheezy much i noe)...at least u've moved on...i'm trying to..step by step...now being single back had to contain myself not to become a whore...kuar ngan laki sana sini...sabar...sabar...

pagi tadi driving dengar lagu nie...teringat sangat..walaupun benci tapi ingat suatu ketika dulu kamu pernah membahagiakan aku..suatu ketika dulu aku pernah tersenyum keranamu...suatu ketika dulu aku pernah rasa aku wanita paling cantik kerana kamu..

apapun aku sentiasa mendoakan mu...(walaupun dalam keadaan rasa nk tumbuk ja muka kamu tuh!) XD..

i smiled like nothing happened..it's calling dealing with the shit and staying strong...

stay strong...be strong...gud gurl....gud gurl...<===<< cakap kat diri sendiri...

Masih Aku Cinta - Shila Amzah

Biarpun kau tak lagi ada dengan ku

Takkan ku bisa melupakan mu

Cara mu, memanggil nama ku

Terasa seolah kau masih ada

Jauh di dalam sanubari ku

Tak ku relakan pemergianmu

Namun ku, kan selalu doakan mu

Agar kau takkan terus terluka

Kau kan temui bahagia

Walaupun aku tidak bersama

Jangan kau gusar

Aku akan selalu ada

Dari jauh engkau masih ku cinta

Dari jauh aku masih mencinta

Takkan pernah ada penggantimu

Yang mempertahankan ku sepertimu

Satu dunia, menentang cinta kita

Akhirnya kita terpisah jua

Yang mengenal mu cuma aku

Tidak ku menyesal mencintaimu

Yang ku harapkan

Kau juga mendoakan ku

p/s:Akan tiba saatnya di mana kita harus BERHENTI MENCINTAI SESEORANG bukan kerana kita PUTUS ASA untuk mencintainya, tetapi kerana kita MENYEDARI bahawa insan yang kita cintai itu akan LEBIH BAHAGIA apabila kita MELEPASKANNYA...

crdt to http://hajatsaya.blogspot.com/2013/02/lirik-lagu-masih-aku-cinta-shila-amzah.html

what to do..

ahahaha nmpak tak tajuk post? cm doh ja..tapi aku rasa nk post something...
malas nk pikiaq tajuk....

U..i've missed u so much....
my days had been tastless...everything was in black and white not as colourful as it used to be..
everyday seems like a battle..
silently i kept my plastic smile...
nasib aku ada agama..
kalau tak mau aku buat benda bodoh..
actually aku dah buat benda bodoh..
a mistake upon another..

Ya Tuhan..
aku nk berdoa pon aku malu..
sebab aku cuma ingat masa aku dlm keadaan kesusahan..
yg wajib tertunggang langgang..tapi aku usaha utk membaiki diri aku..

Ya Tuhan,
hambamu yg hina ini memohon...
kuatkan imanku...kuatkan semangatku..
sbb aku masih perlu hidup utk org yg menyayangiku..
semoga aku tabah menghadapi hari hari mendatang..

Putus cinta itu tidak menyakitkan..
Yang sakit adalah sudah putus tapi masih sayang..

Walaupun hati aku sakit...
Walaupun kadang kala terlintas utk doakan kemusnahan kamu..
Tapi aku tahu itu semua cuma perasaan aku saja..
Hakikatnya aku sgt menyintai kamu..
Sehingga saat ini aku masih berharap kau meninggalkan dia dan bersama aku..
Tapi logik akal aku memberitahu lebih baik aku doakan sahaja kebahagiaan kamu dengan si dia..

Jadi jika kamu ada membaca ini..
Ketahuilah..aku sudah maafkan segalanya..
Sakit ini biar aku tanggung sebab aku tahu Tuhan itu ada..
Biarlah aku menangis sendiri menahan pedih dihati..

Biarlah kau bahagia asal kau bahagia..
Semoga kau sentiasa bahagia..
Aku sentiasa titipkan dalam setiap doaku..
Semoga aku peroleh ketenangan jua satu hari nanti..

hOmE

it's been roughly a month since all hell break lose...

betul la org ckp menyintai tak bererti memiliki..

my insides had been torn apart relentlessly..

even life seems so dull..

dear u..

u've been apart of me existence..

im trying to find peace within myself..

hopefully im able to forgive..n forget....(T_T)..

dedicate this song Tablo Ft Lee Sora entitled home...

meLanChoLic

hye..

remember me..yeah me..someone who relentlessly ignore my blog n somehow it became the internet trash..
yeah me..LOL..

What's new about me? not much..still didn't succeed in my weight loss program..(well..well no suprise there DUH!)

Alhamdulillah get a job eventhough as an asst QA/QC engineer I have a really fulfilling, challenging, stresstothemax kinda feeling but eventually after a year I decide to try for an interview..

Surprisingly I got the job offer! Emm here comes the hard part...my family..my Swichtec family..I was torn apart..it was like a dream come true when the offer came..but will I be able to cope with it? Will I be able to deal with it? What if I suck at it?? So much unanswered question without solid answers..

When you ask for opinion ppl can gv em but not to decide it for u..Well heck I expect resigning would be like a breeze in the park...not a hurricane much less a typhoon..

So what? what? what do I do? Drive me insane...Fear of the unknown had paralyses me..mmmmmmm..
Sigh....

I hope I'm making the right decision...love u guys so much...: AZHAR+NADIA+HAJAR +IKIN+ASRUL+ BOB+ JAMBU+SAPIK+JEHAN+DAUS+HAN+FIKRI...

If it weren't for U..Work would be so intolerable..life would seemed so unfair...But GOD had blessed me with friendship that I can't imagine living without..

Would I choose to be in the comfort zone? Would I choose to explore new things? Dem it I hate such indecisiveness..

Untill I make the ultimatum..my sleep will be sleepless more or less would be like a zombie..

Dem!!

Sobss....

p/s: Please...please...