Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Leek soup

Hmm..tried to recover my pics..but the damn software always stuck in the middle of its process..

Maybe tomorrow ill give it one last try..

If not then im just gonna cry in the corner..till the weekend sobs!

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Sengal bin tolol

2 posts in one day? Man i must be on fire...😂😂😂

Well aisheh aku nk delete satu gmbr, trdelete satu album...

Rs cem nk bunuh diri sat..

So aku try this autorecovery software (if you want to check em out here is the link):

Recovery android


After installing it, by follow it's step by step, im stuck at the part where it is trying to sync with the laptop..

Seems my cable is unable to cater the syncing data..

So ill have to try and ask my collegue if he has any..

Takdak gmbaq menarik pon just me, mum and dad that i wish to get back..

Every moment is precious...(even bila balik kpg aku bole considered anak durhaka sbb asek gado ngn mak eeeeeeesssh)

P/s: crossing my fingers lads...

Monday, March 20, 2017

burning bridges for good


This is my last entry regarding my past..

I should have burned the bridge looooonnnnngggg funckkking time ago..

Why haven't I?

I have no fucking clue..

So, im packing my stuff, cause my dad is officially retired from the police force..

well, well look what i found

gelang silver zaman bencita

alololo omei sangat kan..? haha takdak apalah terjmpa, tulisan atas tuh aku pon tak ingat dia tulis 

apa...benda dah tak penting, dia tak register dah dalam memori aku..kekekeke and it's time for me to 

say goodbye to it already..

and a couple of things yg aku simpan...baju, snow globe, bears..

well..if there's somebody who came across this humble blog of mine, please..

please if you had been hurt, please move on as fast as you could..

i'm romantically stupid, and i tend to live in the past which i often regret..more often than i like..

i don't know how to say this, maybe because  i tried to forgive u, but it's so hard..

huhu im no angel myself..but i can't..i know it's been too long to bear grudges but i just can't..

at least u living good i hear...alhamdulillah...


that's fucking awkward i must say...Baizura will kill me if she finds out...literally...mih mih mih..

it took me 3 years...but let me just burn the bridges, this time for good..

Good bye, annyeong, not all was bad, 

hey hey hey don't go there XD...let me just go with a smile...this time for good...

keep smiling..

p/s: Semoga sentiasa sihat, dan bahagia..

Wednesday, December 7, 2016


Dear you..

Yes you, you know who you are..

Stop popping up on my INSTAGRAM, LINKED IN, or any motherfucking SNs..requesting to friend to follow and what fucking not!

You are literally dead to me when you decided that I AM NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.

So fucking stop annoying me by popping up here and there..



p/s: i know you would be reading this..STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME

Saturday, November 29, 2014

tribute to one taff MAMA part II

20th November 2014


it was 8 unbearable long hours since she was strolled into the ward approximately around 1.00 PM..

it seems like we've been waiting since like forever..

at 9.00 PM  while i was aimlessly playing COC on the phone, i saw a pair of feet in front of me..

when i look up, it was mum's doc...

she was smiling...and she told us that the surgery went better as expected..

she told us the nurse was cleaning my mum and she will be supervised overnight in the OT room or known as (P.A.K.U) to monitor her condition.

She then hug me and left...

me and my handsome cuzzy..huhu

So me and my dad continue to was until around 11.00 PM ( with me harassing every nurse that came in out of the OT room since there's no one at the front desk, there's no one to refer too..)

A nurse asks me to change into a scrub and brought me to a room...

Watching her...with all the tubes, and wires all over her body..

It was a picture forever engraved in my mind..

She was sleeping...but she did open her eyes for some time..( she told me later she didn't remember this...which means at this state she was unconscious)..

Apart of me felt relieved she was okay..but it still pains to see she's in that kind of condition..

We arrived at our homestay around 1.00 AM...

21-25th November 2014

Me and dad went to the hospital after breakfast and waited at the ward....around 10.00 PM dad wants us to wait in front of the OT...half an hour later, we saw she was strolled out from inside the OT room..

we watched silently behind the closed door

we then followed the nurse up to her ward....she was wide awake but she just silently watching us...

she was provided with a tube of morphine, if she felt any pain, she just need to push the button that 

will inject her with a dosage of it..(but hey my taff cookie, she didn't even use the morphine...NOT 


That night I waited and slept beside her...

slept on the floor

that night she doesn't say much, she just told us that the doctor informs her not to move her head so much..

the incision behind her ear..

one massive respect for my mum...she never left her tasbih...
she kept on dzikir..and i just silently reciting Quran at her bedside..

And the next day family and friends came to visits mum she is able to sit up on the bed...

but she isn't allowed to go to the toilet just yet..

At this time she had her period coming...mum was quite shy bout it...but heck I don't mind..

In my mind I just kept thinking how she raised me..feed me, change my diapers and shit...

if I'm not the one who's going to take care of her, who will? 

At this time i remembered how ive been such a spoilt brat during my teen years...

It breaks my heart to remember how I mistreated my mum..

I would smack myself to the moon if I were to go back in time..

my husmet and my twin came by for a visit...

thanks you guys u made my day

So I stayed at the hospital for 5 days before the doctor gave consent to release my mum...

While staying at the hospotal I came down with a flu and a fever..

Mum eventhough she's on her bed, kept throwing me her jacket...since it was too cold at night..

Mum taking care of me even when she bedridden..

So mama...this is for u....

I really love you from the bottom of my heart...

Love u mama...

N daddy too....u are all that i have...

p/s: She's too strong even the doctors were AMAZED by mama..

my one TAFF COOKIE..

Friday, November 21, 2014

tribute to my one taff MAMA (part I)

On Thursday 20th November mum had undergone a surgery at

the back of her ear due to a 1.2cm tumor in her ear. The tumor had cost my

mama her hearing on the right ear and that distorts her face . I'm writing it so 

that more people are aware of the condition..

Well ain't it better that the self-wallowing post before aight ? hehe


Well from the PubMed Health 


An acoustic neuroma is a slow-growing tumor of the nerve that connects the ear to the brain. 
This nerve is called the vestibular cochlear nerve. It is behind the ear right 
under the brain.
An acoustic neuroma is not cancerous (benign). This means that it does not 
spread to other parts of the body. 

However, it can damage several important nerves as it grows....

18 ~19th November:

So on 18th of November my mum is's prior 2 days before the 

surgery, because Prof Asmaa 's team (the ENT specialist) would like to monitor 

my mum's health before the operation....(screening process)..

They would check for her asthma problem...and my mum has high blood 

and cholesterol issue... 

Me and dad we stayed at a homestay near's a RM250 per night 

room...quite expensive but since my grandparents also decided to came better 

have a spacious room we thought..

It's around 15~ 20 mins walk to the hospital...during these two days me and 

dad would walk to mom..

We would arrive around 9.00 am after breakfast...and we would stay untill 

around 7.00 pm...

HUKM didn't let any relatives to stay for the night since my 

mum is still able to walk around and chatting with other tenants huhu..

my mom friendly as always..

walking every morning with my dad..

20th November:

It's D' mum was cheerful as always...but we know that deep down 

inside she's nervous...

I mean who the heck doesn't? If It was me I would be screaming up and down...

(maybe not so much...but literally)..

She was chatting casually with dad..

...and then she just kept her silence...

and staring at a space in front of her..

at first I tried to calm myself by goofing off with her...

....and no reaction..

i was panic..but i kept my silence...kept my smile....eventhough it felt 

hard...and plastic...remembering it was too hard...seeing her like that..

later i was told she was sedated...she didn't remember much..

but i did...

it was hard to put on a brave face....

let alone putting it in front of dad..

waiting for the operation theater

me goofing around trying to 'help' ease the tension..
but i know i was only helping myself..

at that time.....

Mum was given her asthma medicine

Mum on stroller..on the way to the OT 

when the stroller came my face was rigid.. i kept 'telling' myself it's gonna be 

okay...everything's gonna be fine..

i can't even face my dad

my mind was blank..

when inside the OT, i just couldn't stand it..

i stood quite far...and started to sob..

seeing my mum on the stroller, waiting for to go inside the OT..

such feeling is so indescribable..

and dad was hugging and cooing me..i didnt quite catch the words all i noe i 

was sobbing into his shirt...

and so...the waiting begins....

the OT floor 1...


i've never been such a good daughter to my family

but mama im here waiting for you...

Saturday, November 15, 2014

First time jadi bridesmade

My friend, finally changed status on 15/11/2014 at a mosque near her hometown in Alam

Megah, Putra Heights..

After endurings obstacles from god knows what..they were together nonetheless..huhu..

But the most exciting thing is that she had invited me to become her bridesmade! OMGGGEEEEE

excited gila bak hang!!

I've searched high and low to find a peach coloured dress...haha it was tiring, exhausting ( peach coloured dress is MEGA HARD to find!!! )

Then on the 16/11/2014 , ive walked with her down the stairs...stood with her in the rain (IT WAS POURING LIKE MAD) stood beside her on the dias..

She was pretty in the WHITE DRESS..looking like a beautiful doll..

So this post is for you Nurul Ashikin Binti Abd Latiff..

Thank you for the invitation...

It was fun..Sorry didnt get to be a very good bridesmade...

You're really beautiful..

Alhamdullillah after all those you've gone through you guys finally made it..


Like a princess...hehehe

Poyo poyo je aku kat sebelah

Me and the best man...

Mujur tak masuk dlm semak 

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