Masihkah...?

Diam tak diam dah hampir 3 bulan dah..seems like forever...well lawak gak rasa bila terpikir pikir rasa macam nk tumbuk ja muka dia...tapi since the feeling is there u just can't help to wonder eh nk tumbuk ke hapa.. funneh funneh..live's seemes to be mocking back at u...

alhamdulillah i'm in a healing process..i'm a strong gurl i noe at times i felt so vulnerable but then i'm only humane eh..kan? kan? kuatkan semangat amalina...

then one day sumone told me he's getting engaged...mulut cakap alhamdulillah...pastu cakap teringat rasa nk tumbuk muka...hahahaha nk tumbuk ka amalina? ntah cakap je lebih..:) i smiled....

yes i felt so frustrated...i've always had this vision of us growing old together...(yeah yeah cheezy much i noe)...at least u've moved on...i'm trying to..step by step...now being single back had to contain myself not to become a whore...kuar ngan laki sana sini...sabar...sabar...

pagi tadi driving dengar lagu nie...teringat sangat..walaupun benci tapi ingat suatu ketika dulu kamu pernah membahagiakan aku..suatu ketika dulu aku pernah tersenyum keranamu...suatu ketika dulu aku pernah rasa aku wanita paling cantik kerana kamu..

apapun aku sentiasa mendoakan mu...(walaupun dalam keadaan rasa nk tumbuk ja muka kamu tuh!) XD..

i smiled like nothing happened..it's calling dealing with the shit and staying strong...

stay strong...be strong...gud gurl....gud gurl...<===<< cakap kat diri sendiri...

Masih Aku Cinta - Shila Amzah

Biarpun kau tak lagi ada dengan ku

Takkan ku bisa melupakan mu

Cara mu, memanggil nama ku

Terasa seolah kau masih ada

Jauh di dalam sanubari ku

Tak ku relakan pemergianmu

Namun ku, kan selalu doakan mu

Agar kau takkan terus terluka

Kau kan temui bahagia

Walaupun aku tidak bersama

Jangan kau gusar

Aku akan selalu ada

Dari jauh engkau masih ku cinta

Dari jauh aku masih mencinta

Takkan pernah ada penggantimu

Yang mempertahankan ku sepertimu

Satu dunia, menentang cinta kita

Akhirnya kita terpisah jua

Yang mengenal mu cuma aku

Tidak ku menyesal mencintaimu

Yang ku harapkan

Kau juga mendoakan ku

p/s:Akan tiba saatnya di mana kita harus BERHENTI MENCINTAI SESEORANG bukan kerana kita PUTUS ASA untuk mencintainya, tetapi kerana kita MENYEDARI bahawa insan yang kita cintai itu akan LEBIH BAHAGIA apabila kita MELEPASKANNYA...

crdt to http://hajatsaya.blogspot.com/2013/02/lirik-lagu-masih-aku-cinta-shila-amzah.html

what to do..

ahahaha nmpak tak tajuk post? cm doh ja..tapi aku rasa nk post something...
malas nk pikiaq tajuk....

U..i've missed u so much....
my days had been tastless...everything was in black and white not as colourful as it used to be..
everyday seems like a battle..
silently i kept my plastic smile...
nasib aku ada agama..
kalau tak mau aku buat benda bodoh..
actually aku dah buat benda bodoh..
a mistake upon another..

Ya Tuhan..
aku nk berdoa pon aku malu..
sebab aku cuma ingat masa aku dlm keadaan kesusahan..
yg wajib tertunggang langgang..tapi aku usaha utk membaiki diri aku..

Ya Tuhan,
hambamu yg hina ini memohon...
kuatkan imanku...kuatkan semangatku..
sbb aku masih perlu hidup utk org yg menyayangiku..
semoga aku tabah menghadapi hari hari mendatang..

Putus cinta itu tidak menyakitkan..
Yang sakit adalah sudah putus tapi masih sayang..

Walaupun hati aku sakit...
Walaupun kadang kala terlintas utk doakan kemusnahan kamu..
Tapi aku tahu itu semua cuma perasaan aku saja..
Hakikatnya aku sgt menyintai kamu..
Sehingga saat ini aku masih berharap kau meninggalkan dia dan bersama aku..
Tapi logik akal aku memberitahu lebih baik aku doakan sahaja kebahagiaan kamu dengan si dia..

Jadi jika kamu ada membaca ini..
Ketahuilah..aku sudah maafkan segalanya..
Sakit ini biar aku tanggung sebab aku tahu Tuhan itu ada..
Biarlah aku menangis sendiri menahan pedih dihati..

Biarlah kau bahagia asal kau bahagia..
Semoga kau sentiasa bahagia..
Aku sentiasa titipkan dalam setiap doaku..
Semoga aku peroleh ketenangan jua satu hari nanti..

hOmE

it's been roughly a month since all hell break lose...

betul la org ckp menyintai tak bererti memiliki..

my insides had been torn apart relentlessly..

even life seems so dull..

dear u..

u've been apart of me existence..

im trying to find peace within myself..

hopefully im able to forgive..n forget....(T_T)..

dedicate this song Tablo Ft Lee Sora entitled home...

meLanChoLic

hye..

remember me..yeah me..someone who relentlessly ignore my blog n somehow it became the internet trash..
yeah me..LOL..

What's new about me? not much..still didn't succeed in my weight loss program..(well..well no suprise there DUH!)

Alhamdulillah get a job eventhough as an asst QA/QC engineer I have a really fulfilling, challenging, stresstothemax kinda feeling but eventually after a year I decide to try for an interview..

Surprisingly I got the job offer! Emm here comes the hard part...my family..my Swichtec family..I was torn apart..it was like a dream come true when the offer came..but will I be able to cope with it? Will I be able to deal with it? What if I suck at it?? So much unanswered question without solid answers..

When you ask for opinion ppl can gv em but not to decide it for u..Well heck I expect resigning would be like a breeze in the park...not a hurricane much less a typhoon..

So what? what? what do I do? Drive me insane...Fear of the unknown had paralyses me..mmmmmmm..
Sigh....

I hope I'm making the right decision...love u guys so much...: AZHAR+NADIA+HAJAR +IKIN+ASRUL+ BOB+ JAMBU+SAPIK+JEHAN+DAUS+HAN+FIKRI...

If it weren't for U..Work would be so intolerable..life would seemed so unfair...But GOD had blessed me with friendship that I can't imagine living without..

Would I choose to be in the comfort zone? Would I choose to explore new things? Dem it I hate such indecisiveness..

Untill I make the ultimatum..my sleep will be sleepless more or less would be like a zombie..

Dem!!

Sobss....

p/s: Please...please...

brapa lama daaaa

hai hai hai...i noe... i noe it's a bit lame coz it's been 9 month prior to my last blog...sowee actually terlupa bout it..(how noob i can be? i ask dis everdy la liaaaaooooooo)

from my last entry i've been feelin under the whether kan? yup kinda still does but lucky soooooo lucky i've such great colleagues and of course Mr Bf yg sedia menemani.

hmmm no idea wats not...just want to update a regular entry after so long haven't been. well cheerios.^^ huhu

astagfirullah...assabruminal iman....

emmmm...sobs...aku tak tau nk tulis apa nie...rasa sedih sgt..ujian demi ujian berlaku..nie bukan ibarat sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga...nie ibarat dah jatuh timpa tangga berguling2x...phewww..(aight2x lilek jgn mengeluh...)

1stly, aku benti as customer service, tetiba aku dapat call dorang nk freeze akaun aku sbb aku tak bg notis?? wat the jackfruit? apa kehal aku bg notis 8 to 9 hari kot..call pnya call rupanya my trainer tak bg lagi surat..(.............) .

2ndly isu rumah sewa. aku pon konpius.. mula2x nk bhagi 2 alih2x ikot bilik plak..uiksss bulan depan brapa plak dik? nnt kita diskus len...ewah??!! mak aku pesan..hg baik2x nnt dia dok preeeeee kat umah tuh...ciwilah dia dapat penyewa lain arituh.. bukan maen lagi.

3rdly tmpat baru aku keja...kata qa/qc engineer tgk offer letter assistant qa/qc engineer....what??????? pening2x lalat aku..wah2x...tnya my mom gak how? wat to do? hoto kacho? Mom said just work 1st and gain experience.. naseb ada kawan2x yg sabar kan aku...


urmmm sedey gila bai...wet takdak umo 25 tahun kena mtk kat mak lagi..patot kita la yg bg kat depa...sob....sob....tapi im a person dat believes everything happens for a reason...mesti Tuhan bg ujian sbb nk kita nie jadik terbaik kan..(amin..)...

p/s: Dear God, im not praying my life to be easier, just  please help be gather my strength and be strong....

warming up 1,2 ,3

warming up 1,2,3 check mic 1,2,3..hello anybody dere? anyone? ............ hehe wassup peeps (yeah so lame) sorry for no updates quite a while..so caught up wif my personal life ngeeeee~. Its Chrismas today so in b4 do want to wish HAPPY HOLIDAE if ada prezen ingat la kan den ey..

wats happening in my life right now? nothing much. baru benti keja as a CSR (customer service representative) kat TM. quite an experience. very friendly colleagues but very hansap mentor. 1st day dok floor kena maki ngan customer LANCAU LA LU WASTING MY TIME. we make jokes SORRY UNCLE I DNT HAVE LANCAU JUST CIBAI. (tak kata depan2x gila kauuuuuuuuuuuuu) .benti sbb dapat keja baru..alhamdulillah. arituh jauh di sudut ati ada rasa sedih sbb keja CSR lari dari bidang aku blaja dlu(electrical yea2x..) tapi sumhw aku tak menyesal amik keja tuh. met new friends gain so much experience especially in people skills.  gonna mish u guys (sob..sob).

 mak aku pesan keja jgn memilih nie aku nk pesan plak seriusly guys JGN MEMILIH..kalo hg tak keja smpai 3 bulan. keja la dlu. takkan nk dok tggu ja...it doesnt work dat way. alhamdullillah pas aku accpt keja CSR, interview and tawaran keja mencurah2x (tak la melampau2x dlm 2, 3 ja) . tapi seyeslah keja skrg bukan senang der. keja ja dlu. suma bnda nk experience.

so next tuesday, new environment, new house, new place, start all over..life has a beginning and end...life is short. just live welll and meaningful with no regret...cewah...nnt nk post 2012 pnya resolution...manyak menda nak achive..nak buat duit yang penting nk kawen..weeeeeeee~gatai siot..bukan nk elak kan maksiat....ckup2lah yg ada now....


bak kata sharpay dlm high school musical TOODLES.  xoxoxoxoxox


p/s: yeah aku berjaya kurangkan berat badan to 70 kg..tolong doakan i can shape my arm n hips n flatten my tummy dis 2012..huhuhu...weeewoooooooooooooo